Half Assed Indian in the Middle of Nowhere

2008-08-02T20:21:00.004-05:00

As all of us should know by now, Lindsay Lohan has been gallivanting around for the past year with the ever crack-whore looking Samantha Ronson...they reportedly moved in together and even Dina Lohan (Lindsay's crack-whore looking mom) has been very supportive of the close bond the two have because she herself was not able to keep her daughter from becoming just another crack whore...anyway, Lindsay has finally joined the bandwagon so to speak and now claims that her and Sammy are lesbians together...too cute...I would find this all the more believable if we were talking about Rosie O' Donnel here, but sadly enough we're not and I fear that Lindsay is lost once again (like that time she went to rehab) and in a few months will snap out of it and poor Sammy will have her heart broken...sigh...

2008-08-02T20:19:00.002-05:00

oh and for those who care I took twenty credits this summer and recieved all A's...take that bitches...yeah...

2008-08-02T20:08:00.002-05:00

It appears that it has been some time since I last posted something...no, I did not die...and no, I did not get a mastectomy...I haven't even been terribly busy-just the usual hustle and bustle of everyday life (trying to choose between McDonalds and subway for lunch)...recently, I moved into a house with all Chinese students which was a very fun experience because I find myself talking very loud and very slow all the time...sigh...I work at the hospital which is a lot of fun especially when strange men come up to my and ask if I can sew their fingers back on...I even got to walk through baby piss today...ah yes, the pleasures of life...I went to Alexandria recently with my loyal companion to watch Dark Night which was absolutely amazing...definitely no Fight Club but a close second...I am still broken up over the fact that Heathy had to go and off himself with a killer cocktail mainly consisting of prescription drugs...yay! go Hollywood!...but in life we all must overcome adversity to become our best selves...

Biodegradable Sucks...

2007-08-30T19:38:00.000-05:00

Recently, the university of minnesota in morris thought it would be a great idea to change everything to biodegradable items. At first, I thought this was a great idea...I'm always up for saving the earth...being a f****** tree hugger...but they've gone too far...all the prices at the trusty on-campus cafe have significantly increased. The prices were already high enough that I couldn't afford it, but now they're just ridiculous...who in their right mind would pay $4.79 for a smoothie?!?!?!? That's the equivalent of 4 deliciously delightful tacos at Jose's Burritos!!! And let me tell you that 3 of those tacos are very filling. And incredibly tasty. Jose even offers queso fresca - honest to god, the greatest cheese in the world...so yeah, go to jose's burritos...and eat great food for cheap...

Why Hume really is the greatest philosopher...

2007-08-30T16:42:00.000-05:00

So, my philosophy professor told my class today that Hume was the greatest philosopher ever...I didn't really believe him because to me, all philosopher kinda suck...they use this big words that no one has spoken in a couple hundred years and have all these secret messages that are harder than hell to understand...but as I started reading from Hume's, A Treatise of Human Nature, I realized that my philosophy professor was right...Hume is the greatest philosopher of all time...he's actually super easy to read compared to most philosophers...now it's definitely no Harry Potter but for a non-philosopher like me it seems pretty understandable so far...anyway, we shall see at the end of the semester...so yeah...but the archos 604 wifi...

The Archos...da da daaaaaa...

2007-08-30T16:39:00.000-05:00

My Archos 604 WiFi finally came...and it's better than any review said it would be...and for all those people who said that it wasn't any good...you're looking for something so perfect the hands of God couldn't even make it...yeah...so go buy an archos...if you have the money...or steal it because it's definitely worth spending time in jail...

First Day of Organic Chemistry...

2007-08-29T11:41:00.000-05:00

organic chemistry seems hard so...the teacher man says that the average grade is usually about a c+...that will not do for me...I will most certainly get an a...hopefully...to bad it's not about organically grown food...that would be cool...

For all the ipod folks out there...

2007-08-28T13:31:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time in a land filled with ever changing technology lived a girl who loved her ipod. Her ipod was her loyal companion who the little girl could always rely on to accompany her to class and fill her ears with delightful sounds when the world seemed dull. But then one day her ipod broke! And the little girl sent it home to be fixed. The ipod was fixed and to the little girls delight returned to her and once again she had her loyal companion. But then to her horror the ipod broke again, and once again she sent her ipod home to be fixed. This time, however, her loyal companion was replaced with a refurbished ipod which best buy said was just as good. So the little girl was sent her new loyal companion and to her horror found that it had a fracture where the metal met the plastic. A broken ipod would not do so she sent it back and once again best buy replaced it saying that the refurbished one would be just as good. When the new, refurbished ipod came to her delight, it looked perfect, no scratches or anything. The little girl spent hours transfering all of her music back onto the ipod and then when that task was complete she plugged in her trusty headphones and found a song to bring joy to her ears. And when she pressed play do you know what happened? The ipod did not play the song...because it was broken...like all the others...The little girl, furious now waited to go home to give the ipod back to best buy. When she finally gave it to best buy they said they woul replace it with a brand new ipod, but the little girl didn't want an ipod anymore. She wanted something bigger, badder, and better - she wanted the archos 604 wifi with a 4.3 inch touch screen! So she ordered it...and is now waiting for it to come to fill the whole that the ugly ipods left in her heart. And now the moral of the story - do not buy an overexspensive ipod...buy the archos 604 wifi...which is so much cooler and better than any ipod...and which holds 15000 songs...or 40 movies...and which has a sweet ass touch screen...and a leather case...and a built in voice recorder...so yeah...take that ipod...The End

the tuesday before wednesday...

2007-08-28T13:26:00.000-05:00

well it's the tuesday before wednesday...that is, classes start tomorrow...sigh...I wish college was easy...like middle school...where all you had to worry about was when columbus "discovered" america...now ones expected to know all sorts of hard stuff...that's hard to remember...and you get big books...filled with words...and few pictures...WHERE HAVE THE PICTURES GONE?!?!?!?!?...

chicken Legs

2007-08-28T13:25:00.001-05:00

You know you have chicken legs when skinny jeans are baggy on you...sigh...

2007-05-31T21:27:00.000-05:00

Trebuchet is a Really Ugly Font...

Pennies

2007-05-31T21:08:00.000-05:00

In my quest to better understand the world, I recently began to ponder the notion of the penny. At first glance pennies seem completely pointless. Those little bronze colored coins which always end up in the little penny containers at the check-out counters in stores are worth nothing when compared to the relatively newer Sacajawea dollar coins. Why keep making them is often a question which seems to constantly pop into the consumers mind. Why charge $1.99 for something when it would seem more logical to rid the country of those little coins and just charge $2.00? Well today I realized the importance of the penny. I came across a penny jar (thanks to an unnamed mexican) this evening right before venturing out into the fields of mn to rent a movie at the trusty home video store the glorious town of morris offers when I realized that instead of charging the movie to my credit card (thanks to my parents) or having my trusty companero pay for it, I could count out 159 pennies and pay for the movie that way. This is exactly what I did. I carefully counted the pennies three times, put the pennies in a sandwich bag, and brought them to the video store and presented the store clerk with my 159 pennies. Surely my story proves the importance of the penny...when in a small, midwest town, the best thing to do to pass your time is count pennies...I hope we have all learned a lesson here...no one likes to do laundry twice in one day

The "Great" MEXICAN'T

2007-05-09T00:19:00.000-05:00

sigh...mexican's...

Donuts

2007-04-28T02:20:00.000-05:00

I have a problem...a serious addiction...somewhere between a sex addict and a methamphetamine addict lies my very serious addiction...I have become addicted to donuts...I want donuts all the time...chocolate covered...with sprinkles...with cherry filling...with cream filling...it doesn't matter as long as at some point during the day I have a donut enter my mouth, fall into my stomach, travel through my intestines and...now I'm all for personal responsibility but I really blame my addiction on Coborn's...you see this nice little 24 hour gas station/grocery store/movie rental store gets a fresh new array of donuts everyday, but throughout the day the donuts naturally tend to lose some of their freshness, so naturally what do the coborn's employees do? they sell the donuts at 1/2 off (25 cents) after around 11 pm...the problem lies in the fact that I go to coborn's everyday with a certain ill mannered mexican around 1ish...so naturally I see the very cheep and very appealing looking donuts and want them...no need them...so what do I do now? what is my plan to beat this addiction?...Celery!!!! ah yes, celery...this wonderful tasting treat which many consider a "zero calorie food" would certainly be much better for me than donuts...unfortunately for me though, I hate celery...so I suppose the only thing left for me to do is move to famine stricken africa and live on rice and beans...woe is me, woe is me...

Hi

2007-02-09T19:05:00.000-06:00

I don't like the snickerdoodle cookies because they have no snickers in them.

2006-11-12T23:50:00.000-06:00

As I sit here at my desk after brushing my teeth (mmm...minty) and listening to Felix Mendelssohn's, Allegro Molto Appassionato, I think about my Hispanic boyfriend...and the way in which he makes salads. Unlike the average homo sapien, my boyfriend likes to eat salads with jalapeño peppers delicately sprinkled on top of the crisp romaine lettuce. Now I am fully aware of the fact that he is Hispanic, and that jalapeño peppers are a very important food item in the Hispanic diet, but I find it hard to reconcile my feelings about jalapeño peppers on salads. I would, for the most part consider myself a salad lover...after all about 87.643% of my diet consists of just salads. My salads however, unlike my Hispanic boyfriends are normal salads: iceberg lettuce (I enjoy the extra "bulk" that iceberg lettuce offers a salad), a handful of black olives, a sprinkling of cheddar cheese (preferably extra sharp), and Caesar dressing (not too much, but just enough to add a nice "zing" to the salad without going overboard on the calories). Along with the jalapeño peppers on his salads, my Hispanic boyfriend also likes to sprinkle bacon bits on top of his salads! This would be a perfectly acceptable practice if not for the jalapeño peppers on the salad. Bacon bits are a very American food item; who ever heard of bacon bits and jalapeños??? Well I certainly never have!!! After all, bacon bits are as American as "good ol' American Beer." The thought of this strange assortment of food items on something as delectable as a salad has caused me to throw up a bit in my mouth...the mintiness I received after brushing my teeth is gone...I will brush them again and then go to bed...hopefully where I will not dream about my Hispanic boyfriend and his version of a salad...whoa is me, whoa is me...

The Saj Mahal Says...

2006-11-03T22:30:00.000-06:00

If you Open Your Heart to Me, I will Open My Legs to You

Dr. Iguana

2006-11-03T15:30:00.000-06:00

I recently adopted a llama named dr. iguana...he is green...unlike most llamas...He doesn't like the blue llama that is at wowthisisslow.blogspot.com

FRANK

2006-11-02T22:41:00.000-06:00

Today, after smoking excessive amounts of marijuana, I was walking to the pawn shop to retrieve a lost tape player (lost after a 3 week methamphetamine binge) when I met a 1 inch, toy soldier named FRANK. FRANK told me that he did not like the way in which my loyal Mexican companion was looking at him and so I was forced to shove a pack of Turkish Jade Light cigarettes down his musket. He did not like this and proceeded to...