As I sit here at my desk after brushing my teeth (mmm...minty) and listening to Felix Mendelssohn's, Allegro Molto Appassionato, I think about my Hispanic boyfriend...and the way in which he makes salads. Unlike the average homo sapien, my boyfriend likes to eat salads with jalapeño peppers delicately sprinkled on top of the crisp romaine lettuce. Now I am fully aware of the fact that he is Hispanic, and that jalapeño peppers are a very important food item in the Hispanic diet, but I find it hard to reconcile my feelings about jalapeño peppers on salads. I would, for the most part consider myself a salad lover...after all about 87.643% of my diet consists of just salads. My salads however, unlike my Hispanic boyfriends are normal salads: iceberg lettuce (I enjoy the extra "bulk" that iceberg lettuce offers a salad), a handful of black olives, a sprinkling of cheddar cheese (preferably extra sharp), and Caesar dressing (not too much, but just enough to add a nice "zing" to the salad without going overboard on the calories). Along with the jalapeño peppers on his salads, my Hispanic boyfriend also likes to sprinkle bacon bits on top of his salads! This would be a perfectly acceptable practice if not for the jalapeño peppers on the salad. Bacon bits are a very American food item; who ever heard of bacon bits and jalapeños??? Well I certainly never have!!! After all, bacon bits are as American as "good ol' American Beer." The thought of this strange assortment of food items on something as delectable as a salad has caused me to throw up a bit in my mouth...the mintiness I received after brushing my teeth is gone...I will brush them again and then go to bed...hopefully where I will not dream about my Hispanic boyfriend and his version of a salad...whoa is me, whoa is me...

The Saj Mahal Says...

If you Open Your Heart to Me, I will Open My Legs to You

Dr. Iguana

I recently adopted a llama named dr. iguana...he is green...unlike most llamas...He doesn't like the blue llama that is at wowthisisslow.blogspot.com

FRANK

Today, after smoking excessive amounts of marijuana, I was walking to the pawn shop to retrieve a lost tape player (lost after a 3 week methamphetamine binge) when I met a 1 inch, toy soldier named FRANK. FRANK told me that he did not like the way in which my loyal Mexican companion was looking at him and so I was forced to shove a pack of Turkish Jade Light cigarettes down his musket. He did not like this and proceeded to...